Domestic Geek

OK, so here's an example of how out of control my life has gotten:

I'm going through a box of old VHS tapes seeing if there is anything I still need and I came across a tape that I had made of Stephen Spielberg's Amazing Stories episodes on the Sci-Fi Channel. I never got a chance to watch this tape after I recorded it...until today. It has a commercial for Cabin Boy—a movie that came out in 1994! LOL

This is one problem that things like Tivo and PVRs have eliminated. I no longer have stacks of unlabeled tapes sitting around with no clue what's on them and no easy way to find out other than FF through them.

Damn, how did it get to be 11:38 already? Didn't Marcus just leave for work like a half hour ago?

I'm going to miss Starting Over when the fall tv season starts. I can't believe all the time in my life I've wasted with soap operas. I caught Days of Our Lives one day last week and I said to myself, "Geez, what a waste of broadcast air...I can't believe I used to care about these story lines." Soap operas are stupid.

Anyway, while I couldn't sleep last night, I had a small realization: I think one of the reasons I never get anything accomplished is I resent the unpleasant things I have to do (or should be doing). I have lots of hobbies that I want to do, yet I know I should be doing other responsible things. When I start to do those other things, I get resentful because I'd rather be doing my hobbies and then stop doing those as well. It's a vicious cycle that results in me doing absolutley nothing. It's immature. It needs to stop and I need to allow myself time for play while facing stuff I don't want to do. I need to find a balance in my life. One of the ways I used to avoid this whole scenario was to go shopping. I'd buy stuff I didn't want or need just to avoid facing the inner struggle. Lately, with no money to spend, it's been television and Harry Potter fan fics that have been fulfilling that role.

So, my plan is to do an hour of stuff I have to then an hour of stuff I want to do. I'll let you know how it works out.

Man, I hate when I have a movie I want to see and say to myself, "I need to put that in my Netflix queue," but when I have the Netflix site open in front of me, I can't remember what the heck the movie was. Grrrr.

Well, my stupid glasses broke yesterday. I shouldn't be surprised, the things are over five years old. The frames are so thin, I can't even glue them together temporarily. *sigh* Oh, well.

I've been unemployed a whole month. I think the lack of work is making me edgy. All I could do was pace today. I couldn't concentrate worth crap. I have tons of stuff I could be doing, but I just can't seem to focus. Not cool.

I need to get back to sorting stuff and throwing stuff out. Our stupid landlord raised the lot rent again. Once I do find work and get my bills back on track, priority number one is going to be getting out of here. Our house sits right next to a main power line. I know that the energy affects me strangely. That's probably also a reason I'm so restless.

I can't believe how quickly my health deteriorated this last month. It's amazing how much excercise I got going back and forth to the printer. I gained over 10 pounds in the last month, despite the fact that I've been eating less. My metabolism must be in conservation mode. I went biking with Marcus yesterday and I sucked so bad. I'm basically carrying around two people everywhere I go. I'm going to take better care of myself. It took a week for the swelling in my legs to go down after the blogathon. I'm not young anymore, but I'm not that old, either.

I'm kicking myself for my stubborness and not applying for unemployment sooner. I'd be getting checks already if I had overcome my pride sooner...or faced reality sooner. I kept telling myself that I didn't need to apply, I'd have a job before the checks would kick in. Yeah.

OK, gonna go see if I can relax enough to get a few hours sleep.